Red ~C Diary: I’m not Gay, I’m a Fluffy Christian!

"In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God" (John 1:1)

It’s 4:20am on a Friday morning. Last night I bought a pack of mineral water in preparation for today’s fasting. You see, whenever I get the chance, I fast on a Friday of the Holy Week. I almost forgot about it if not for ~myDakini’s reminder. Where we grew up practicing Catholics are not supposed to eat "meat" on certain days before and during Holy Week. I’ve never understood this tradition. Why the heck not only eat meat on certain days? What’s the difference between a Monday and a Friday? Isn’t it better to turn vegetarian then?

My family are not strict practicing Catholics. We observe “some” practices if they’re “comfortable.” We pray during times of need and sorrow. We pray to give thanks and food for tomorrow. We don’t go to Church regularly. Whenever we do, my Father would prefer to go to church outside of our community because according to him, "maraming tsismoso at hipokrito sa simbahan namin," (translation: there are lots of Churchgoing rumormongers and hypocrites in our Church). My Mother and I went along with my Father’s preference, because for some reason, we believed he was right. For us, it’s better to go to a Church where we’re anonymous so we can just focus on the act of going to Church instead worrying about the people that go to Church. That’s us! Anti-(religious)social bastards to the max! LOL!

During Holy Week, especially on a Friday, we would watch movies about the Passion of The Christ, the Ten Commandments, and different remakes of the same themes. Most network TV channels and radio stations (this was before cable, satellite radio, and internet) suspend broadcast and only a couple of TV stations continue to broadcast religious programs, like The Seven Last Words. I remember hating this when I was still a teenager, because Macgyver was shown on a Saturday, so this meant no Macgyver for me for a week. Damn you Black Saturday for taking my Macgyver away!

In some parts of our country some people practice self-flagellation, some get literally nailed on the cross, some talk to spirits and claim to travel to the spirit world, while some test their anting-antings (amulets) and feed them with oraciones (power words) to keep them "effective." Other people swear by it that by doing these practices, they become closer to God, and protect themselves from evil spirits, evil hexes of mangkukulams (witches and warlocks), sharp objects, and even bullets. LOL and groovy on the bullets!

I never completely understood those practices. At times I simply just accept them as part of our culture and wonder that maybe something is really going on there. At other times I brushed them aside as superstitions and stupid beliefs we inherited from our Spanish forefathers who brought Christianity into our land of the indios (aka stupid brown people). Whatever.

So why the hell am I fasting today? I don’t know. All I remember is that there was a point in my adult life where instead of just avoiding meat, I decided to fast on a Friday during the Holy Week. Like I said, even this is not a strict practice. But I do my best to keep up with it. I figured that if Christ was able to do it for forty days and forty nights, I could do it one day and one night out of 365 days and nights in a year. Piece of cake! I can last for a day without Pad Thai and Sushi!

But am I doing it for religious reasons? Am I doing it to save my sorry ass from hell? Am I doing it to please God in heaven? Am I doing it to drive the evil spirits away? Hell, no! I do it because I prefer to do it. I do it because I choose to do it. I do it to honor the religion and culture that had been good to me and my family and my country. There are no superstitious beliefs behind this act (I hope, I think). It’s just a simple act of giving back.

You see, even though I stopped identifying as a Catholic, long ago when I was still in high school, I don’t look at Christianity as all that bad. In fact, I’m very thankful that I grew up in a household with morals and ethics based on the Christian faith. So there are times during cranky days (such as today) when I really get pissed when people slander the Christian faith in favor of their own "perfect and enlightened" religious beliefs -- sub-Christians, pseudo-Christians, and/or otherwise.

Another thing that pisses me off is when people go off hunting for a new religion in the East, get groovy psychedelic experiences in the Himalayas or somewhere in India, then come back down as "enlightened" liberators of Catholics and clueless Christians. Screw your hippie assholes!

A lot of these people were previous Catholics or disgruntled Christians who turned their backs on the religion that got them to where they are. See the subtle performative contradiction there? Suddenly they start yapping on how great Hinduism is, how enlightened Buddhism is, how perfect Taoism is, how cool (insert your favorite Eastern religion, including Atheism, here) is. Well, good for them! But I say that some (or most) of them are just sporting very puny beer-goggles! It’s not even Oakley! Hah!

I even dare say that some (or most) of them deny Christianity simply because they’re a bunch of ignoramus-hypocritical a-holes! They are the ones who make fools of themselves by their lack of understanding of Christianity.

What the f*ck is wrong with the Ten Commandments? What’s wrong with the Beatitudes? What’s wrong with the Gospels? What’s wrong with Christ’s teachings? What’s wrong with the Holy Trinity? What’s wrong with the concept of Grace? What’s wrong with the Serenity Prayer? What's wrong with Centering Prayer? What’s wrong with Christ Consciousness? What’s wrong with Love? What’s wrong with the word God?

But before some wiseass out there argue with me and remind me of the horrors of the Inquisitions, Crusades, and even the Holocaust, please don’t waste your time, because I’m pissed at those too. However, understand that it’s not Christianity that enacted those terrible deeds. It’s humanity’s barbaric nature and "lack of understanding" of the Christian concepts and its highest ideals. BIG F*CKING difference!

So, before you Islam, Judaism, Zoroastrian, Hermetic, Atheist, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, Shinto, Nondual, Integral, Voodoo, Gaia, New Age, Scientology, Scientist, Evolutionist, Quantum Physicist, Cyberpunk, Flying Spaghetti Monster, and other cult fundamentalists thrash Christianity, understand that you are renouncing the skewed and lower levels of the Christian faith and NOT its highest ideals. So stop being smug about it while smiling and sitting in LOTUS, because the Buddha and Me will crap like we’ve got amoebiasis, on your heads and your puny little kundalini awakenings underneath your FREAKIN’ TREE!

But my dear Christian brothers and sisters, before you do high fives, group hugs, and dance of joys on the streets, hold off on it, because I now turn my WRATH on YOU!

You see, it’s because of your personal and collective ignorance, laziness, and stupidity that Christianity gets a bad rap.

You preach Love yet you are intolerant and secretly harbor hate on other people’s beliefs.

You preach brotherhood and yaya-sisterhood yet cannot even accept lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders, in your own community. I say f*ck you for your hypocrisy! Here’s a finger for all my LGBT friends!

You go to Church every week but continue to spread rumors amongst yourselves and pull down your brethrens when their lifestyles and blessings are better than yours.

You pray the Rosary but cuss like sailors and inflict pain on your servants and others.

You do Novenas but continue to cheat on your customers with your business.

As for the Vatican, ah yes, the Vatican... I say the Holy See can suck my Holy DIK with BIG Compassionate Balls! You make my non-existent stomach sick with all your wealth and hypocrisy and outdated shallow spirituality! I still marvel at how you manage to keep on brainwashing people into depositing their hard-earned money into your FAT Swiss bank accounts. Why not practice what you preach and take the vow of poverty yourself? Yes, I’m talking to you Cardinals and Bishops and even the Pope! Practice what you preach and stop being smug about your puny and shallow spiritual accomplishments! And you can take this finger too!

To some men and women of the cloth, screw you for taking the vow of celibacy yet abusing innocent children! Screw you for taking the vows of poverty yet adorning yourselves with Mercedes Benz and fancy rings and luminous holy things while you ask your parishioners for their meager savings to help unfortunate people in Asia and in New Orleans. Why not go to the richest sovereign state in the world (aka The Vatican) and lobby for tax-exempted budget there? I am the Walrus! Kukukuchoo!

Your collective ignorance and weaknesses are a disgrace to the holiness of the Priesthood! You make me make want to take off those holy robes and wrap it around your necks and girlie balls! I say grow up into a human being and get the f*ck out of your monasteries if you can’t honor your vows. Do not hide behind the protection of your brainwashed congregation you bunch of cowards! You are the ones who give Christianity bad raps to the bones! I pity you and puke on your Armani shoes!

As for Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart, and the rest of their kinds... You bible-thumping idiots can kiss my inner a-hole! You fundamentalist deluded right-wing hypocrites! You’re no different than Bill O’reilly, or Conan O’Brien. Well, at least Conan is funny, and he’s Irish, and Irish people are cool, and Ireland rocks! You guys should have lunch together and do a talk show in front of network television so we can all watch and poop all over your stupid ideologies and shit. I’m not even going to waste my time ranting on this. But I got to hand it to you for putting together your moneymaking and hate-spreading gigs.

To all the pseudo-Christians I mentioned (and failed to mention) above, let me repeat this: You are a disgrace to the highest ideals of the Gospels, Grace, Holy Trinity, Christ Consciousness, and God!

This blogger-body-mind can say these with conviction because these rants are backed up by ancient wisdom and philosophies older than your religion and puny partial beliefs: The Mahabharata, Bhagavad Gita, Rig Vedas, Buddhist Sutras, Golden Letters of Dzogchen, The Gospels, The Lost Gospels, The Bible, the teachings of Don Juan, the Secret Teachings of the Espiritistas, A Course in Miracles, the Urantia Book, the extreme calamity of U.G. Krishnamurti, the intelligence of Jiddu Krishnamurti, the Theosophy of Blavatsky, Autobiography of Yogananda, the fire of St. John of the Cross, the courage of St. Theresa of Avila, the kindness of Mother Teresa, the peacefulness of Gandhi, The Prophet of Khalil Gibran, the Supermind of Aurobindo, the logic of Nagaruna, the philosophy of Socrates and Plato, the hierarchy of Abraham Maslow, the Seven Principles of Leonardo Da Vinci, The Elegant Universe of Brian Greene, the Integral Theory of Ken Wilber, the Centering Prayer of Father Thomas Keating, the deep dreamless sleep of dear Ramana Maharshi, and more!

So tell me, what backs up your puny fundamentalist Christian and Christian-bashing beliefs?! The Bible?! The Koran?! The Heart Sutra?! Evolutionary Theory?! Intelligent Design?! Integral Philosophy?! Your puny little Kundalini awakenings?! Just those?! Please! Wake the f*ck up! How partial can your freakin beliefs get?! And here’s a finger again!

But what this blogger-body-mind really trying to say is: Whatever are your religious beliefs, you have a responsibility to grow within that set of beliefs and nurture your own bodymind within that socio-economic culture. So do every one of us a favor by growing up and know when to ditch that limited framework when you encounter a more embracing framework along your journey.

Fellow Christians and non-Christians, Christ died on the cross NOT just for our SINS. He was KILLED by ignorant people who didn’t understand the Consciousness that ran (still running) through Him. Please don’t be like those people. Honor the Golden Rule and do your best to Love one another as you would want others to Love you. Or, take this modified golden rule written by a Divinely inspired Ken Wilber and stamp it on your Big Minds, and your Big Hearts:

"We must forgive each other our arising, for our existence always torments others. The golden rule in the midst of this mutual misery has always been, not to do no harm, but as little as possible; and not to love one another, but as much as you can."

And here’s one final rant: Don’t ever mock the word GOD by denying it or replacing it with cute words like "Gawd," or whatever. The word GOD has power! The word GOD IS power! Do not insult it by your fallacies and ignorance. If you are not comfortable with the word then simply don’t use it.

But understand this: The word GOD has gained power not only because of stupid believers since time immemorial, but also because this word already has power to begin with! The Alpha and the Omega IS not to be mocked by your limited concept of space-time and eternity! In the beginning was the Word and the Word will still be here, there, and everywhere, long after our collective atoms and puny consciousness have already been recycled by the Kosmos!

This blogger-body-mind is far from perfect. It could use some more growing up just like you. So here’s another confession:

When it comes to the Absolute or the Nondual, this bodymind is still ignorant and unconscious, but it has NO DOUBT that it will get "there," in spite of the contradictory nature of this statement. This bodymind knows what it knows and accepts what it doesn’t know.

That’s why in the meantime, this bodymind calls on God during times of "dark nights" and sorrows, gives thanks for blessings and food for tomorrow, asks for forgiveness for unconscious and conscious harms it had caused its fellow sentient beings, and prays for enlightenment and awakening of others.

This bodymind finds that praying to God is more powerful than sitting in LOTUS under a FREAKIN’ TREE, and that acceptance and mindful utterance of the Serenity Prayer fosters unimaginable Serendipity!

But why God, and not Yahweh, or Jehovah, or Allah, or Buddha, or Krishna, or Brahma, or Garab Dorje, or Sophia, or Gaia, or Kosmos? This bodymind doesn’t know. Maybe it’s just preference or a kosmic cultural habit. But the Urantia Book had put it succinctly when it said:

"And God-consciousness is equivalent to the integration of the self with the universe, and on its highest levels of spiritual reality. Only the spirit content of any value is imperishable. Even that which is true, beautiful, and good may not perish in human experience. If man does not choose to survive, then does the surviving Adjuster conserve those realities born of love and nurtured in service. And all these things are a part of the Universal Father. The Father is living love, and this life of the Father is in his Sons. And the spirit of the Father is in his Sons' sons–mortal men. When all is said and done, the Father idea is still the highest human concept of God."

And that is one of the reasons why this bodymind still prays The Our Father.

And with that final rant, my friends, I say peace, while I bow to the Buddha, Tao, Jehovah, Gaia, Brahma, Allah, and Christ Consciousness within (You(Us(All))).

~C (for Christ Consciousness)

P.S. Thank God it’s Good Friday! This blogger-body-mind would like to rest, play the blues, and be back again on Easter Sunday!