Red ~C Diary: The Super Colossal Experience

"With every song there's a story, a lot of love, a little neurosis, a little glimpse behind the curtain, where you see the madman pushing the buttons and making it all happen. All of it comes under the umbrella of rock & roll – but that's a big umbrella." – Joe Satriani

Just got back from Joe Satriani's Super Colossal Tour here at Paramount Theater in the Emerald City. Man! My freakin' ears are still freakin' ringing! That's got to be the loudest concert I've been to. I need to settle down before I continue writing this because I swear, my head is still swelling... There, I think I'm a bit ok now.

First of, let me say that if you've got Eric Johnson (yet another uber-kick-ass guitar player) as the opener, expect to have a damn loud and rockin' show. Eric ripped the opening riffs that made my eardrums pop. He did an awesome rendition of Jimi Hendrix's Manic Depression and prepared the audience for a night to remember. "You rock Eric! You're my Hero!" was the constant shouting of the dude sitting next to me. Can't blame the guy because Eric is indeed a guitar hero.

Too bad I was sitting on the third level mezzanine. It would've been quite a more pleasurable and a deafening experience being twenty feet away from the stage. There was a short break after the opener while the roadies prepared the set. Earlier the security stopped me from taking pictures with my Canon Rebel. He said that small camera phones are ok but not my SLR. Damnit! That's why I only got a couple of pictures. Better luck next time.

Suddenly the lights went dim. Flashing blue lights illuminated the stage. The patented shrieking Satriani tone reverberated within the walls of the theater. I know that tune! That's one of my favorites!

Joe Satriani kicked it off with Flying in a Blue Dream. He then followed up with The Extremist, Cool #9, then Redshift Riders. Awesome! My eardrums popped out some more. I didn't mind. Joe played non-stop for the next two hours. He played like a mad alien surfing in outer space. He did a lot of songs from Surfing with the Alien album, like Ice 9, Satch Boogie, Circles, and the classic rock ballad, Always with Me, Always with You. I felt goosebuimps. My eardrums continued to pop out. That bald guy plays freakin' loud!!!

Joe played lots of tracks from Super Colossal: Redshift Riders, Just Like Lightning, Ten Words, Made of Tears, A Cool New Way, One Robot's Dream, Meaning of Love, and Super Colossal (using the Super Colossal Guitar). That guy was hyper-flowing! If you've only listened to his albums then you're missing a lot. Listening to his albums is like listening to a genie playing guitar inside a lamp. He plays damn better live! He's crazy with improvisations too. How could someone play that fast and so perfect?!

But let me take that back. Joe didn't play his guitar(s) on stage. He made love with his guitar(s). No, make that, he made passionate love with his guitar(s). No, make that, he made passionate love with his multiple orgasmic guitar(s). He even performed a cunnilingus on them. I swear those guitars screamed like multi-orgasmic banshees. Yep, I think that's the closest description I can come up with.

Joe brought the house down with an encore of Crowd Chant. We chanted with Joe's guitar. Then he finished the evening with the classic Summer Song. By then I thought my ears were already bleeding.

I walked out the theater with a throbbing headache and ringing in my ears. It was quite an experience. I've watched Joe before in Chicago, but this one was louder and more bangin'. Joe continues to inspire me to improve my guitar playing. I already accepted the fact that I won't reach his level of mastery. But he gives me hope to keep on playing and find my own unique expression. He's like that to his fans. That's why he's known as the "guitar player's guitar player."

Thanks Joe. Godspeed. Keep on surfing like a mad alien.