The
cells of our body are dying, the neurons in our brain are decaying,
even the expressions on our face are always changing, depending on our
mood. What we call our basic character is only a “mindstream,” nothing
more. Today we feel good because things are going well; tomorrow we
feel the opposite. Where did that good feeling go?
What
could be more unpredictable than our thoughts and emotions: Do you have
any idea what you are going to think or feel next? The mind, in fact,
is as empty, as impermanent, and as transient as a dream. Look at a
thought: It comes, it stays, and it goes. The past is past, the future
not yet risen, and even the present thought, as we experience it,
becomes the past.
In the two truths doctrine of Buddhism there are two levels of truths, or expressions of reality: the relative and the absolute. The relative is the ever-changing nature of reality, and the absolute is the ground
in which everything and nothing happens (so they say). The absolute is
unfathomable to grasp because it can never be imagined. Whatever we
think of the absolute, it's not it. Still we try. But if there is
such a thing as perfection, only the absolute deserves to be described
as such, because being perfect means being imperfect at the same time.
It is easy for us to proclaim (or imagine) that the world is perfect as
it is -- that we are aware of living in every moment. It is easy to project our
ideals on what the absolute is. But from what level of consciousness are we proclaiming this insight? I leave that for you to decide.
My take is that the injunction “describe a perfect world” stems from a dualistic (read: relativistic) notion, so I will answer it in a relativistic fashion.
Yes, we (the whole of humanity) are doing better now, historically speaking. But we can do much
better! And we should. And we would. Because it is in our nature to
push the limits of our individual and collective boundaries. And since
the idea of perfection is always projected somewhere into the imagined
future, allow me to describe my humble version of a Utopian vision.
There will always be suffering and pain in the relative world, because
it is through suffering and pain that we learn. So I equate
“perfection” with the ability to quickly adapt to change with less (not absence of) suffering as much as possible.
Thus, a perfect world to me is a world where:
– human societies develop spontaneously in freedom with minimal harm to the environment, other creatures, and especially to each other
– people settle disputes by diplomatic means instead of bombing each other
– religious differences are tolerated yet dogma is thrown away whenever
it cannot withstand the rigorous test of scientific inquiry
–
spirituality, the arts, sciences, and morals are taught as
complimentary modes of knowing in schools, colleges, universities, and
corporate boardrooms
– morality and ethics could easily catch up with technological breakthroughs and innovation
– poverty is nothing but a distant nightmare
– the inner sciences and exterior technology would enable us to travel
to distant stars, as well as to the depths of our own individual and
collective psyches, in order to fulfill our destiny, which is: to
explore and evolve into Infinity.
In the relative world, we'll
always strive for perfection yet we would never attain it, because
everything that happens unfolds as it is, in all Its glory and
imperfection.
“People
who say they want to become a millionaire but are unwilling to back it
up with hard work are only fooling themselves. It’s not going to
happen by itself. If hard work is a dirty word to you, don’t bother.
“However,
the great thing about this goal is that it’s achievable. People in far
worse positions than you have already done it. It’s hard but
definitely not impossible. If you accept this, it becomes something of
a game. You don’t have to fear failure because you’re expected to
fail, and that makes success all the more exciting.” …
“After some
serious soul searching, I gave up on the idea of becoming a millionaire
for myself. I just didn’t want it badly enough. If I did I’d have
done it years ago with my computer games business, which I believe
was entirely capable of getting there. I felt like a dolt for dropping
this goal, but I also felt a sense of relief about the whole thing. It
freed me up to focus on more important priorities like service and
contribution.
“Ironically
it was the decision to put contribution ahead of wealth that led me
full circle. Eventually I realized that becoming a millionaire could
dramatically enhance my ability to help others.”
I just got back from the gym. Today is my cardio day. I've been working
out consistently for more than a year now. But my cardio workout could
use more improvements. My cardio workout is derived from HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training), which I've learned from my Absolution program.
It's very effective. Incorporating HIIT in my workout three times a
week enabled me to maintain my weight even after I stopped taking fat
burning supplements. I do my cardio workout mostly on treadmills during
winter and run around the park during warmer seasons. I prefer doing
cardio using a treadmill because I can control the pacing and the
incline. Here's how I do it:
1. reset the timer to zero. warm up: first two minutes walking pace at 3.5 mph speed.
2. run like the wind at 9.5 mph for one minute.
3. back to walking at 3.5 mph speed for one minute.
4. repeat step 2 and 3, alternate between running and walking. do this until the timer reads 20 mins.
5. by this time i'm already gasping (very) hard for oxygen, so i catch my breath and drink lots of water.
As effective as this cardio workout is for me, I sometimes find it monotonous. It lacks variety and fun. Enter, the Cardio Coach. Check out this video promo:
"The gesture - From now (Jan 5th) until the 27th,
anybody who wants to use Cardio Coach and is a member of the zaadz
community can get it at no charge. If you get one and like it, you can
come back and get another (up until the 27th).
"In Return -
verbally commit that you will give much consideration to participating
in the Press Play event on the 27th.... Press
Play day has the potential for amazing things."
I took Sean's challenge, sent him an email and asked which of his cardio workouts
is right for me. He recommended Volume 2. So I clicked the promo link,
downloaded the mp3s, saved them on iTunes, created a Cardio Coach V2
playlist, and synchronized it with my iPod Nano.
Here's what happened on my first session with the Cardio Coach:
Volume 2 consists of eight mp3 files: Intro, Warm up, Challenge 1,
Challenge 2, Steady State/Rest, Challenge 3, Cool down, and Coaches
Notes. I didn't bother checking my heart rate using the treadmill's
panel. Since I've been doing cardio for a while now I have a good idea
of how to pace myself. So as soon as stepped on the treadmill I
selected the Cardio Coach V2 playlist and hit play. I used the tempo of
the music as my pacing and listened to the voice instructions. At first
I thought that this would be a piece of cake. So I pushed myself more.
For Challenge 1 and Challenge 2, I manually adjusted the incline to 5.0
and the speed to 7.5 mph during the challenge intervals. Man! Big
mistake. By the time Challenge 2 was completed, I was already sweating
like Jack Black in a sauna. I
underestimated the program and overestimated my capacity. Duh. During
the Steady State the Cardio Coach gave me the option to continue with
the third and final challenge or to "veer off to the beaten path" and
skip it. I seriously considered giving up and calling it a day. But I
visualized the Cardio Coach behind me shouting at the top of his lungs,
calling me a wuss if I give up! Rats. So I took a deep breath, crossed
my fingers and proceeded to Challenge 3.
For Challenge 3, I manually adjusted the incline to 6.0 and the speed
to 5.0 mph and kept my pace for the next five challenge intervals. I
thought that I would never complete the challenge but the Cardio
Coach's voice guided me and provided the feedback that I needed to
focus on the challenge at hand. By the time I finished Challenge 3 I
felt like Homer Simpson about to have a meltdown.
My shirt was all wet, my perspiration was dripping from my head off the
back of my neck, I'm gasping for oxygen--all signs of an awesome cardio
workout! The workout lasted for almost 40 minutes, including cool down.
I felt great! I still feel great as I write this!
So starting today instead of listening to Guns N' Roses during my
cardio workout, I'll do my workout with the Cardio Coach. The pacing
provided by the music alone is worth it and the guided voice
instruction helped me to focus and gave me timely feedback to push
myself even more. Give it a try.
Thanks to Sean for this gift of fitness! I'll be joining you on January 27!
In any case, it's good to know that Harris is open to such interior inquiry. If only Dawkins, Dennett, and fundamental religious leaders would follow suit.
Steve Pavlina gives us a sneak-peek at his flowing creativity.
I can relate with him since I experience this flow myself once
in a while. Just to be fancy, I even called the experience, blogging flow.
However, unlike Steve, most of my blogging flow comes from writing and
finding links and putting them together in a single blog post that is
very meaningful to me--the blog post serving as an extension of my
memory. I also lose track of my sense of time and I get cranky when
people or outside interference bother me while doing my thing. But what
I'm really curious about is, does Steve Pavlina's armpits sweat heavily during times of flow? Mine did. But thankfully, not anymore. Hah!
Um, I think he is. Or, at least, Steve Pavlina is the Web 2.0 counterpart of Tony Robbins. Robbins may be pumping up people on the stage over at TEDTalks, but he has been slow to adapt to the social dimension of the web. Case in point: Check out his site. WTF? a Flash splash page? Ugh!
Maybe Tony Robbins is not that crazy adapting to the Web anyway. As long as he keeps his positive influence on the influencers, he's still doing an awesome job, and making lots of moolah too.
My mind has been preoccupied lately with various personal stuff. My mentality has been slipping into self-centric rather than other-centric. I find it hard to sleep early and to read a good book. In fact, it's already late and I'm still awake typing on my keyboard. The body is sleepy but the mind keeps wondering, worrying. I feel like I need to re-energize myself with no non-sense motivation. Thanks to Steve Pavlina for injecting me with a much needed motivational steriods. After reading Steve's Heart-Centered Motivation, I found myself reading more articles from his site--articles which seem relevant to me at the moment. So I bookmarked all of them.
But now I think it's time to retire to my bed and incubate the ideas. And trust that everything unfolds accordingly.
The
fear that impermanence awakens in us, that nothing is real and nothing
lasts, is, we come to discover, our greatest friend because it drives
us to ask: If everything dies and changes, then what is really true? Is
there something behind the appearances? Is there something in fact we can depend on, that does survive what we call death?
Allowing
these questions to occupy us urgently, and reflecting on them, we
slowly find ourselves making a profound shift in the way we view
everything. We come to uncover in ourselves “something” that we begin
to realize lies behind all the changes and deaths of the world.
As
this happens, we catch repeated and glowing glimpses of the vast
implications behind the truth of impermanence. We come to uncover a
depth of peace, joy, and confidence in ourselves that fills us with
wonder, and breeds in us gradually a certainty that there is in us
“something” that nothing destroys, that nothing alters, and that cannot
die.
“The
problems all of us face fall in one of three areas: direct control
(problems involving our own behavior); indirect control (problems
involving other people's behavior); or no control (problems we can do
nothing about, such as our past, or situational realities). A proactive approach is the first step to the solution of all three kinds of problems within our present Circle of Influence. Some people interpret proactive to mean pushy, aggressive,
or insensitive, but that isn't the case at all. Proactive people are
smart, they are value driven, they read reality, and they know what's
needed. And they focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence.
They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of
their energy is positive, enlarging, and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase.”
I also wrote a flowing poem about this a while back. It's circles and spheres all the way up, all the way down…
I
have some extremely unfortunate news to report concerning an incident
that happened late last Sunday night (July 23rd). The following
letter—written by Ken to the I-I managers—explains a series of
unfortunate accidents that have left him not that much far removed from
functionally quadriplegic. Without assistance, he can’t stand up, walk
around, sit down, lie down or any other of the 100 simplest actions. We
believe that he will make a recovery but we expect it to take six
months to a year. The following e-mail is self-explanatory, and is the
very first thing he wrote about his situation. You will see the humor
and wit and Lightness with which he carries even these difficult
things. Please stay tuned to the site, and we will give you more of the
medical facts as they become available. But we wanted to rush this
early announcement as soon as we possibly could. Below the letter you
will see that we have included five photographs of his pretty badly
smashed up body.
Some people have wanted to know if they can get
Ken presents or make some sort of contribution in his name to a
charity. Ken has requested that if you are not a member of Integral
Institute, please become one and if you already are please make as many
gift memberships for your friends as you can. Click this link to Join I-I.
Ok that’s it. I’m now hooked on online videos. Not having a TV is actually a bane since I’ve got no choice but to watch stuff online. But of course, the advantage of watching online videos is that I have 100% control on what I would like to watch. It’s interactive too. And now that online video services, like YouTube.com and Google Video, are all the rage, gone are the days that you sit in front of an idiot box forced to watch stupid brainwashing commercials; gone are the days where only people in the broadcasting business have the right and power to broadcast. Thanks to Architecture of Participation of Web 2.0 and the collective denizens of cyberspace, broadcasting is now a two-way stream.
However, like other technology, the ubiquity of online videos has some potential disadvantages (e.g. increase in shortened attention span, video addiction, rampant pornography, etc…), but still, the advantages outweigh the cons. As The Wired Guide to the Online Video Explosion has eloquently said, "Some people look at the sheer amount of material and see a mess. But we see, amid the flood of content and competing delivery services, a new medium emerging, one with fewer gatekeepers, more producers, and somewhere – something for everyone. And that’s the point: the mess is the message."
As for me, one of the obvious advantages of online videos is access to stuff that interests me, thus speeding up my learning process, in hyperspeed. Allow me to illustrate by examples using YouTube.com.
When I’m not watching crazy people lip-synching to My Humps, snorting wasabi, non-nude lap dancing in front of a giant teddy bear (lucky bastard bear), or making an ass of themselves, I watch guitar videos so I can learn different playing styles from my guitar gods and even from unknown people who just love showing off their guitar skills. Check out these videos and you’ll understand what I mean:
See my point now? Those are just some of the videos that inspire me to no end. In fact, I decided to make an ass of myself too and broadcast my crap so I can keep track of my progress while showing off. Too bad I only have a webcam with a crappy microphone but this will do for now. Here’s my YouTube.com URL:
I’ll use it to video blog (vlog) my practice sessions and times of spontaneous luminous (and not-so luminous) inspirations. So, pardon my guitar-playing imperfections, coz whether you like it or not, I say, let the Chaos begin!
Me and my buddy will check out an Introductory Session on TM (Transcendental Meditation) tomorrow here in the Emerald City. I've read about TM and have some theoretical understanding of its practice, but I've never actually practiced it. I understand that what I would learn from the seminar is just a tip of the TM iceberg. I've also heard that the complete course is a bit pricey, but I'm still looking forward to what I'll learn from this seminar. I'll blog about it for sure.
So, anyone out there got experience with TM? How was it for you? Props and warnings are more than welcome too. Feel free to discuss them in the comment section. I want to learn from you.
I almost missed the day because I went back to sleep after I recorded some crap. Thanks to ~myDakini for calling me, otherwise I might've missed today's good weather here in the Emerald City. People were out enjoying the sun. Gym rats who spent the whole winter buffing out were out half-naked playing volleyball. Hot chicks were wearing short shorts and swimsuits. Yep, the weather was that nice.
It would've been perfect if ~myDakini was were. We could've been out there lying under the sun, walking hand in hand, and... Long distance sucks! Huh?! where was I? Oh yeah, the awesome weather!
Like I said, the weather was awesome. So I did what I usually do during awesome weather: hangout with my jamming buddies over at Kirkland Marina park and play some blues and what not. One of my jamming buddies (aka starving artists) brought his violin. I brought my Ebony, my bluesy chops, and a can of Red Bull. Now that was fun! We played till the sun went down. We played till the warm weather turned nippy. It was a beautiful awesome day and I just want to share it with all of you.
Red ~C Diary: Flowing Parallel Processing Practices (F3P)
I was a bit surprised when Steve Pavlina went back to monophasic after doing almost half a year of polyphasic sleeping. His reasons were valid, and I couldn’t agree more with his main reason for ditching polyphasic sleep: because "the rest of the world is monophasic."
In some way I think this confirmed my personal opinion on "rigid" types of personal development: they work for a while but eventually you will fall back on the kosmic groove of the crowd, and this is actually good for the individual and the crowd.
Allow me to expound on this using my own personal experiences...
Let’s start with Integral Transformative Practice and/or Integral Life Practice. First let me say that the theories behind these practices are sound. Yes, everyone could use some good subtle body workout, 3-2-1 shadow work, meditation, affirmation, kata, etc. But here’s the rub: For most people, doing practice this way is unnatural. A lot of people (especially women, or the feminine types) find such modularizations too rigid. Not only rigid, these practices also make them "weird" in the eyes of their immediate families, friends, community, co-workers, etc. At some point being "weird" is actually a breath of fresh air so individuals can seek growth outside of the "herd mentality." But there comes a point that, especially when these practices are taken too far, this "weirdness" turns into some kind of elitism, and even obsessive (sub)conscious intentions of being "better" than "the rest of them." Suddenly, the question of "who is it that wants to transform?" gets lost in the sea of "I must do this and that, so I can transform into this and that."
Steve’s calling it quits on polyphasic sleeping reminded me of why I called it quits on being too rigid on my ILP, ITP, or whatever. In fact, I even made fun of it by coining the phrase DIK with BIG Compassionate Balls. So why did I call it quits?
First of, I didn’t quit ITP, ILP, or whatever those people want to call it, per se. What I quit on was on "being too freakin’ rigid" about the whole idea of transformation -- like dividing them into modules, doing this practice for this day and that for another, or doing physical activities and complementing them with subtle energy practices, or meditating 5 hours a day then doing pushups and yoga after, or keeping a spreadsheet and making sure I hit All Quadrants in my practice, etc... Well, I used to do all of those, including the dreaded practice of keeping a spreadsheet. But guess what? Those attitudes are excellent for getting motivated, but in my case, they were simply not sustainable. It took me only so far before drifting back to my natural pattern. George Leonard called this homeostasis. He’s right. That homeostasis thing is like a gravitational pull of a black hole, guaranteed to get you back into your natural kosmic grooving patterns. And this is actually good, IMHO.
Calling it quits on the "rigidness" of personal development practices was the best thing I did since I started to engage the personal development domain. The good thing about it is that, there’s no need to prolong the day into 36-hours, do polyphasic sleeping, or compartmentalize practices into quadrants. I’ve discovered that there’s another way of engaging these practices without breaking my natural rhythm. For lack of a better analogy, I’ll simply call it, flowing parallel processing.
Parallel processing simply means simultaneous processing of incoming stimuli. The human brain is already hardwired for this. Computers and networks are designed to emulate the human brain to do parallel processing to accomplish tera-FLOPS in a span of nanoseconds. The advantage of computers, of course, is that they operate in hyperspeed and are not distracted by the idea of transforming itself into better computers. Just kidding.
My personal approach on "integral practice" right now is that, instead of compartmentalization, keeping track of practices, etc, I tap on the concept of flowing parallel processing practices (F3P).
Not surprisingly, most of these so-called practices are common sense. A lot of people already do it. What I’m doing differently is putting these practices in a framework that is conscious of the concept of integral personal transformation.
There’s no set of rules on how to do F3P since it will vary from person to person. But if there’s one injunction on how to do this, it is simply to identify those practices that you can lump together and do at the same time without compromising flow.
I know it sounds a little cryptic. But it’s the best description I can give for now. I think the best way to illustrate this is by examples.
When I go to the gym I do weightlifting while listening to Joe Satriani or Stevie Ray Vaughan with my iPod Nano. I take advantage of parallel processing by practicing guitar while getting ripped at the same time. Huh?! How the heck do I practice guitar while pumping? I can hear you asking.
That’s easy. Guitarists (and musicians) know that listening is practicing! The more you listen, the more the rhythm rubs off on you, consciously, subliminally, supraliminally.
Remember Eminem in the movie 8 Mile tapping his hands and fingers while feeling the beat of his rhymes? I do the same thing in the gym in between exercise sets and even during exercise reps. This way I don’t only practice the rhythm and beat of every SRV leads and Satriani licks, but I also manage to tune out the rest of the people who flirt day in and day out in the gym. This is not a single’s bar fer Chrissakes!
Now, bodybuilding purists will argue that I should focus on just strength training instead of mixing practices to get the best results. I agree. They are right. However, the keywords here are "best results." Best results for them may be to end up looking like Brad Pitt, or winning the most ripped abs in the universe. Those are cool. But to me, I’m just okay by being lean and taking the stress off for the day. So it really boils down on one’s "priority." See?
Another example: I also combine guitar practice with blogging. How? Simple. Those ten (10) of you who follow this blog may have noticed that I’ve been blogging crappy guitar licks every once in a while. Those crappy guitar licks are part of my guitar practice. I play guitar in front of my laptop, and whenever I manage to improvise a cool set of licks, I hit the "record button" on my Odeo, then I just blog the hell out them. By doing simultaneous blogging and guitar practice I become more proficient with blogging, and increase the chance of serendipity of having some people in cyberspace discovering the tunes that could in turn inspire them to do the same, or even rip off the music in the spirit of RETICULUM REX. So far no one has dared to rip my crappy music. Oh well, at least I get to build a library of practice licks, one crappy lick at a time, for future non-crappy compositions.
So there. That’s my personalized modified version of Integral Transformative Practice. Instead of modularization, I do mashups, combos, and what not. But it’s really up to people to mix and match whatever practices they are capable of doing.
Some suggested practice mashups: singing while cooking; polyphasic sleeping and lucid dreaming, reciting poetry jams while having sex; etc... Go make up your own. But just remember that your combo has to naturally flow. If you’re trying too hard and you're not getting the results you expected, then chances are they’re not a good combination for you. Reciting poetry jams while having sex can actually work for some people. I think.
Of course, there are practices that simply can’t or shouldn’t be mashed-up with others, like meditation, focused writing, etc... This is especially true if you're treading the path of "mastery" of certain practices. But this is another topic for discussion.
What I’m really trying to say is: However you approach your practice, try to be not too rigid about it. Always allow space for serendipitous things to happen. As much as possible, engage in practices wherein you can flow with the rest of humanity rather than being a hermit (or cultish) in your own ILP. But most importantly, never forget this self-inquiry: "Who is it that wants to transform?"
That is all for now. I’ll expound on flowing parallel processing practices (F3P) later as I make refinements and learn some more of this common sense idea.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this quote from the most bad-ass sage in recent history:
"When the movement in the direction of becoming something other than what you are isn't there any more, you are not in conflict with yourself."
-- U.G. Krishnamurti
~C (for Calling it quits on too much transformative practice)
You see, I've been eating sushi like crazy for the past couple of months. I eat sushi in a (the same) sushi bar, 4-5 days a week, in hyperspeed. However even when I eat really fast, I still notice things: my habit of eating fast; my habit of choosing shrimp tempura rolls over spider rolls; my system of arranging the sushi plates neatly in a single stack while grouping according to color, so that the waiters can easily count my plates when giving me the check (see this "after" pic), etc...
Is it possible to eat really fast, and still call it mindful eating?
I don't know. I thought I answered this question already. But all I know is that, I'm aware of how fast I eat, what I eat, where I eat.... In fact, I even managed to blog about it, see?
What is the Opposite of Sticky? It's Targeted SERENDIPITY!
I just read this old Fast Company article about weblogs while I was researching for my interview with Rebecca Blood. Upon reading the article I had goosebumps all over, right before my jaw dropped on the floor. Holy crap! It's the first time I've heard Rebecca Blood used the word "serendipity." And she even used it in an uber-cool phrase: "targeted serendipity."
Below are excerpts from the old article with the same uber-title.
via Fast Company: Targeted Serendipity .... "Blogs became therapy," Blood says. "As a coping mechanism, people needed to make themselves feel useful, so they collected information for their blogs 24 hours a day. Others worked through their feelings by writing for an online audience, which forced them to clarify and explain their messy emotions." .... "The Web gives everybody a place to say their peace, talk about what they love, and share their stories," Blood says. "There's nothing more important than that." .... The first Webloggers -- largely programmers with too much free time -- began linking to each other, as well as to quirky Web sites and news sources reporting breakthroughs in the world of geeks. Occasionally, they posted off-color comments about the news and tried their hand at irreverence. Stickiness was a dirty word, and the best Weblogs achieved what Blood calls "targeted serendipity," pointing readers to things that they didn't know they wanted to see. .... "The people who create Weblogs have an innate understanding of the Web that most business leaders do not," she says. "Bloggers look to the Web first for information -- it's their window on the world. So it was the most natural thing in the world for them to send people away from their sites through links. That's what the Web is good for: sharing information. They understand that people will come every day to a site that sends them to other interesting places." .... "We thought that there would be maybe 100 of us in the end, and that bloggers would be in high demand," Blood says. "We didn't foresee the introduction of tools that would enable anyone to start a Weblog. And we certainly never thought half a million people would be interested in blogging." .... "Bloggers have the opportunity to stop, reflect, and talk among themselves in a thoughtful way," she says. "I'd like to see Weblogs do more of that rather than imitate what the big boys are doing. Because a lot of what the big boys are doing is reprehensible." .... "A Weblog is based entirely on trust," she says. "People come because they like to read what you write. If you suddenly began promoting Nokia cell phones on the side, news of it would come out quickly because this is a close-knit community. And that would be a tremendous breach of trust. It would be a scandal in the Weblog community because it goes against our entire ethic." .... "Weblogs are bringing creative expression to everyday people," she says. "This is a realm of nonspecialists. You are not up against Steven Spielberg and Vanessa Redgrave. You are just up against a bunch of people like you. And everyone's already applauding."~C (for Can't wait for what's gonna happen next...)
bluesy harmonics in the key of E @ ~iBlues channel
inspired by bluesy silence and the need to slow things down... note that it's my laptop microphone that is crappy, and NOT Odeo! (nor my crappy guitar playing). because Odeo rocks! (me too! lol.)
...and that my friends is my cue to take a break from all this frenzy, as I ponder on things Naikan-style... I will follow my own injunctions again, and will blog in silence for a while...
spontaneous riffs in the bluesy key of A @ ~iBlues channel
inspired by my cousin’s Toyota PRIUS, i recorded this spontaneous riffs for posterity. note that it’s my laptop microphone that is crappy, and NOT Odeo! (nor my crappy guitar playing). because Odeo rocks! (me too! lol.)
"Hakuin's early extreme exertions affected his health, and at one point in his young life he fell ill for almost two years, experiencing what would now probably be classified as a nervous breakdown by Western medicine, though the symptoms were similar to kundalini. He called it Zen sickness, and sought the advice of a Taoist hermit, who prescribed a chakra visualisation practice which eventually relieved his symptoms."
So allow me to subject my(illusory)self into this anal (pun intended) physical and psychological check up, because I simply don't have access to a Taoist hermit.
"A nervous breakdown is a sudden, acute attack of mental illness such as depression or anxiety. Like sanity, the term is not recognized by the psychological community. In part, this is because the term has pejorative connotations, while this phenomenon is a normal and relatively common response to chronic stress. Often, the emerging illness is only described as a "breakdown" when the person becomes unable to function, at which point the disorder is advanced. Often, the supposed breakdown is a manifestation of career burnout."
Hmmm. Scratch that! I am freakin’ sane! (I think). I’m not depressed; in fact I’m happy and gay while typing these words at this very moment. Stress? Hell, no! I even slack at work. Shhhh! So yeah, like I said, you can scratch "nervous breakdown" and shove it up your snotty nose.
"Interdisciplinary dialogue within the mentioned schools of psychology (see references below) has now established some common criteria in order to describe this condition, of which the most prominent feature is a feeling of energy travelling along the spine, or progressing upwards in the body. Motor symptoms are said to include tremors, shaking, spontaneous or involuntary body-movements and changes in respiratory function. Sensory symptoms are said to include changes in body-temperature (feelings of heat or cold), a feeling of electricity in the body, headache and pressure inside of the head, tingling, vibrations and gastro-intestinal problems. Cognitive and affective symptoms are said to include psychological upheaval, stress, depression, depersonalization or derealization, intense mood-swings, altered states of consciousness (trance-like experiences), hallucinations (inner visions or acoustical phenomena), but also moments of bliss and deep peace (Sannella, 1976; Greyson, 1993 & 2000; Greenwell, 1995; Scotton, 1996; Kason, 2000)."
Hmmm. Aside from "changes in body-temperature" (see aforementioned gross description of excessive armpits sweating), most of the descriptions don’t apply to me. I am not "depressed"; I don’t have "mood swings" (how cute, shut the f*ck up!); I don’t experience "depersonalization or derealization" (you be the judge on my blogging and see if this is so, or not), don’t feel any "energy traveling along the spine" (must be my turd blocking it), no "altered states of consciousness" whatsoever, and how I wish I can experience "moments of bliss and deep peace." So yeah, I think I can scratch this too. Don’t you agree?
So, let’s go now to the Christian version and see if this has something to do with the concept of "Dark Night of the Soul." Ooohhh that sounds scary... --
"The 'dark night' could generally be described as a letting go of our ego's hold on the psyche, making room for change that can bring about a complete transformation of a person's way of defining his/her self and their relationship to God. The interim period can be frightening, hence the perceived 'darkness'. In the Christian tradition, during the 'dark night' one who has developed a strong prayer life and consistent devotion to God suddenly finds traditional prayer extremely difficult and unrewarding for an extended period of time. The individual may feel as though God has suddenly abandoned them, or that their prayer life has collapsed."
Hmmm. "Letting go of our ego’s hold on the psyche, making room for change that can bring about a complete transformation..." If we replace "psyche" with "blogging-persona" then yeah, I can say this is so. But I already told you that! Maybe you’re just not paying attention! So here is the blog post: see for yourself.
However, I’m not experiencing any darkness here. I don’t even do "strong prayer" fer Chrissakes! (see I even have the balls to take the Lord’s name in vain). Still, I will give this a CHECK mark because of the transformative aspect. But understand that this (only) mostly apply to this blogging-persona and not entirely on this bodymind in meatspace, who's playing the role of this blogging-persona. Why? Because I’m still a jackass! Just kidding. Those who personally know me will consider that as blasphemy! What I’m really trying to say is: I’m just a simple all-around nice guy in meatspace. Dig?
So, after that detailed physical and psychological exam, I think I can confidently say that if there is such a thing as Zen Sickness, then I only have a very mild case. LOL.
The Human Bean, known as Jean, was right; Good thing I play the Blues, because that thing keeps me grounded. My question to you is: What is it that keeps you on the ground, you snotty bunch of meditating ascenders?! (sorry about the mood swing, must be the "sickness," dig?)
Before I conclude this self -- psychoanalytical uber-Gurdjieff(tian) Big(freakin’)Mind 3-2-1(high five, down low, you’re too slow)Shadow contemplative blog post, let me tell you this:
I AM NOT a Zen practitioner! I AM NOT a devout Christian! I AM NOT going crazy (I think)! I’m just a simple blogging-body-mind with a laptop, a broadband, a voice, a small audience, who IS (kosmic)blogging with DIK and BIG Compassionate Balls!
So, if YOU CAN’T stand the HEAT, get the F*CK out of MY WAY, because the (Buddho)blogosphere will NOT WAIT for your puny little hippy awakened kundalini, with your lazy ass sitting there in LOTUS, all alone in your mystical smugness, underneath your FREAKIN’ TREE! That is all.
...
Now I must fetch my laundry in the dryer before my neighbors get mad at me and toss my GQ clothes on the dirty floor...
...
I’m back! My clothes were still there! Nice. But before I proceed in mindfully folding them one by one, I will leave you a couple of evil koans (aka MASTER BAITING) to brood upon:
I have no grand illusions of claiming that blogging can catapult anyone into awakening. I have already stated my belief when it comes to enlightenment! My path is via SERENDIPITY and NOT sitting in LOTUS under a FREAKIN’ TREE! I respect your path, and I bow down to the Buddha-nature in you, but I tried it and it DOES NOT work for me. Dig?
I was surfing the waves of the Buddhoblogosphere when I bumped into the Pagan Bodhisattva. He IS a kindred buddha-blogging soul! I had no choice but to bow down to his wisdom. Here's what transpired in the comment section. Read the entire post for a more compassionate context. Thanks, bro, I needed this affirmation. And now I'll do my laundry...
"I also know what it's like for blogging to become a dangerous obsession."
thank you for articulating this. you really do understand what i'm going through. i will take your wisdom to heart so i don't screw myself up, and those i love.
"We can all teach according to our capacity, just as we all learn according to our capacity. I have great capacities for learning and communication. It would be silly to keep these to myself. There is no need for myself or anyone else, after all, to be the "perfect" teacher, to be "The One" a la Neo."
you really do understand me man! thanks again. my intention is to teach what i can while learning what i can, in hyperspeed, until i burst out laughing.
"And I believe blogging is the perfect medium for teaching in this manner. Blogging can be ego-driven and single-minded, sure. But as shown by the blog roundups at Blogmandu, it can also create a rich dialectic of insight. The one dissolves into the many. One person's insights aren't as important as the network of insights. In other words, we can all be teachers - from the most enlightened among us down to the rankest spiritual amateur. This is the social dimension of spirituality taken to a new, exhilarating level."
perfect! i will quote this. you have a better flavor at articulation my friend.
i hope you're right. but like i said, i'm just flowing with serendipity, no end goal, no lofty plans (well, maybe), but you're right, i need to really do something about this sweaty piece of sh*t. so i will go to QFC and buy the strongest anti-perspirant i can get.
take care and stay lucid!
~C (for Can't stand the sweating)
P.S. speaking of blogging addiction, do you have a Zaadz blog? i have. ooops! sorry man, don't blame me.
P.P.S. i see you have a blogger named coolmel in your blogroll. who the f*ck is that?! i'm outta here! w00t!
(update: 07/28/2006 -- added the Super Beer-goggles photo for more emphasis :))
There's nothing I hate more than abusing and parroting a good word ad nauseum. That's why me and V for Vhorn coined the word "fluffy" -- to protect the word "integral" from being diluted by those hippies disguised as fluffy. Dig?
beer goggles -- "phenomenon in which one's consumption of alcohol makes physically unattractive persons appear beautiful; summed up by the phrase, 'there are no ugly women at closing time'"
You see, ideas are like alcohol. If you take too much then even an ugly Philosophy will look like kick-ass to you! Then you'll get intoxicated on how cool you are. "Yeah, I belong to the .1% of the leading edge, dude. Now hand me some cat hair so I can make myself high."
So there: perspectives = beer-goggles
I just feel like adding the "dash" to make it one word instead of two.
Remember: Ideas are bullet-proof, but they are not fool-proof.
P.S. Like Uncle Scott, I would've used the words: BULLSHIT FILTER. But that's too mean and it's a foul language. I rarely do that here. So I'll stick with beer-goggles coz it's user-friendlier.
"Anger is the most impotent of passions.
It affects nothing it touches and hurts the
one who is possessed by it more than
the one against whom it is directed."
-- Clarendon
And so I blow off some steam by doing my ITP, ILP, DIK, or whatever in the gym. Why the f*ck are you angry, you ask?! No, I’m not angry... I’m HOT! Not Brad-Pitt-HOT, but steaming hot! Today I feel like I’ve drank 10 cups of tall non-fat Caramel Macchiato, the only thing is, I didn’t. I feel heat in my heart chakra, like my blood-pump is palpitating… and my armpits, yes, they are still profusely sweating...
So I went to the gym to fight fire with fire. I thought maybe I can blow some steam off by pumping iron and what not.
I removed my sweater and exposed my tank top. I put on my iPod Nano and set the playlist to Cay's Hiff Huff Mix #1. Then I blasted the volume so I can focus on my task at hand.
"No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart... I wonder if I take you home... Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)"
I started with my chest with flat dumbbell presses... I increased the weights... I pumped and pumped resting for only less than two minutes in between sets. I pumped as soon as I recovered. I increased the weights again... then again... then again... How can this be when I’ve only averaged 4-6 hours of sleep in the past few weeks? I felt like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. But no, I didn’t get that far. Still I broke my record for my heaviest chest press. But I’m not gonna tell you how heavy I pumped because I’m sure Shawn Phillips can do bicep curls with those while drinking latte and eating turkey sandwich, in his sleep.
"It's getting hot in here, So take off all your clothes, I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off..."
Then I moved to my shoulders. But not before I re-filled my drink. Man it’s really hot in here! I pumped my shoulders... I pumped... I didn’t finish the set. I was restless. I needed to re-fill my water bottle again. Good thing I always carry a towel, especially right now with my armpits as wet as Seattle.
"Now I aint sayin she a gold digger, but she aint messin wit no broke niggaz, get down girl go head get down, get down girl go head get down, get down girl go head get down..."
Next thing on my mental list was to get down with my triceps. I headed to those pulleys and worked it. I saw teenagers flirting next to me. I ignored them. F*ckin’ juvies, read some books! I worked my triceps. I focused on my reps. Ahh, that feels good. No pain, no gain!
"What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk? I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump. My lovely little lumps, Check it out..."
I re-filled my water bottle again. Then I proceeded with hanging leg raises. Next to me was a busty woman whose boobies were about to pop out. Dang! Focus! She was flirting with a muscular black dude. I ignored them. This is not a freakin’ singles bar! There, I finished my last set. I hurriedly got out of there before I puked on my jogging pants.
"Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, Im still, Im still, Jenny from the block, used to have a little now I have a lot, no matter where I go I know where I came from..."
My armpits were still sweaty. I was hungry. The closest place was Sushiland. I put my sweater back on and turned off my iPod Nano. Hmmm... J.Lo...
"Table for one," I said to the dude on the counter. I found myself checking in to my favorite sushi place where sushi plates are served on a conveyer belt. It’s like waiting for your baggage at the airport, with no security check. That’s why people there sit side by side.
"I’ve got some seats available, sir," the waiter pointed me to a couple of empty seats. "Thanks!"
I was about to pick my seat when I saw this Japanese chick, or maybe Chinese, sometimes I find it hard to tell them apart. But she was wearing high-heeled boots and sporting an iPod video. She’s definitely Japanese. Kinda cute too. I chose to put a space between the two of us. I didn’t want to spontaneously combust.
I grabbed my sushi plates one after the other, eating like a construction worker. I dipped them in soy sauce and... Damnit! That Wasabe is HOT! That took care of my sinusitis. Good thing I asked for iced water instead of my usual hot green tea.
I looked at the Japanese chick. She looked backed at me. I looked away. You’re cute miss, but I’m head over heels with my distant Dakini.
"Check please." I said to the cashier. He calculated my bill. I finished eight (8) plates of sushi. That’s about right. Most were raw salmon nigiri and shrimp tempura rolls.
I walked out to the parking lot and... Damn! Don’t tell me I left my headlights on again! I went in the driver’s seat and mentally talked to my faithful steed. Please start my faithful steed! Please start! He started. Thanks! I owe you, an oil change!
I drove home... I got in my studio apartment, and took a cold shower. Ahhh, this is bliss.
My heart was still palpitating... I feel like overloaded with caffeine. Could it be those Lean System 7 capsules? I don’t think so. I’ve been taking that crap for months now. This is strange. This is different. I know! I’ll pop a sleeping pill!
IN-BETWEEN STATE: The sleeping pill is working... I now have access to the groggy state... So I fly over to the subtle realm and meet with Dandy... We gallop into the sunset, we ride among the stars, we tasted Drops of Jupiter, before settling down on Mars… And then I whisper into Dandy’s ear this sweet and juicy word: "enumclaw." Dandy’s pupils dilate. He shakes me off his back. He then utters these words that I could never forget: "Damn you ~C! That wasn’t me! That’s my cousin Andy."
Coolmel is in blogging flow,(very fluffy) whereas Jean remains blogging fool. But as to the question of whether blogging can be a spiritual practice, I'd have to say, yeah, of course. Depending on how it's approached anything can be a spiritual practice, including taking a dump. But especially because blogging is a creative activity it's certainly capable of opening one up to those artistic "flow" states - and they are so very delicious are they not? But not to worry Coolmel, I don't think you're at risk of becoming too "artsy-fartsy" anytime soon. The blues will keep you grounded.
Um, I don't know. I think I'll draw the line on ”taking a dump.” I get hemorrhoids and constipation a lot. But the The Human Bean is right. The (Insomniac) blues keeps me grounded.
